This morning I woke up to watch the sunrise. I just made it on time, but I missed the very beginning (one of my favorite parts). You know, that first moment when you can see the edge of pink peeping over the horizon? Yes, that’s one of my all-time favorite moments. But even more than that, I love seeing the full sunrise, arrayed in all of its glory. The source of light exposed to everything else around it. No matter where I am or how many times I’ve seen it before, I can’t get enough of it. Those moments are full of such awe and wonder.
Anyway, back to why I was late… So I had woken up on time, I even got out of bed, but about five minutes into getting ready I decided that I was too tired and I went back to sleep. Ever have one of those mornings? I have them more than I would care to admit! Thankfully something woke me about thirty minutes later. It was just in time to quickly change, get in the car and drive to the beach. I am so thankful that even though I chose to go back to sleep, I awoke again so that I could still appreciate the beauty of the morning.
This moment makes me think about the beauty of God. I think of the moments where he reveals more of his character and nature to us. It is awe-inspiring to know the God who created the universe, and to also be known by him in return – for him to visit us and sit with us, especially when we are so unworthy of him. I think of making room for God in my day similarly to how I make room to enjoy that sunrise in the morning. Sometimes it can feel inconvenient, but the truth is it is one of the most captivating moments we can experience. And if we will make time for the moment, it will be more than worth our time and energy. Some of us know this to be true, but how many times do we choose to go back to sleep? How many times do we fill our days with no room for margin to spend time with him?
Let’s go back to the sunrise example again for a moment. They say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” so I won’t assume anything here… let me ask you the question and you can decide the answer:
Which is most beautiful to you: sleep or a sunrise?
Now you can’t answer both, for you cannot have both at the same time in the same moment on the same day – you must choose. Again, it is similar with God. What is most beautiful to you? God? Or your slumber? How many of us roll over and go back to sleep spiritually, thinking that whatever we are holding onto is more beautiful than he is?
I am so thankful that God wakes us up. He calls out to us, and for some of us hard-headed types, he might even have to shake us awake. Why? Because he knows he has something so much more beautiful for our lives than what we are choosing to hold onto. Yet, He lets us choose. If we want to choose sleep, ultimately, he will allow for that too.
I think we have all experienced choosing to go back to sleep. But what do you do when He calls your name? Does he have to shake you to wake you up? Do you tell him to go away because you have already chosen what is more beautiful? Or do you arise and behold his beauty?
So let me ask you again – sleep or a sunrise? Which is more beautiful to you?
You might answer, like me, “a sunrise, definitely!” But do we sacrifice to make time for that sunrise? Do we chase after it and seek it out? If we can answer yes, then our actions show the beauty of the sunrise truly captivates our hearts. If not, then our actions show that we do not truly find the sunrise more beautiful. Sleep is more beautiful to us. We might like the idea of the sunrise more, but the idea of something is not at all the same as the reality of it.
As Christians, many of us say we love God more than anything else – that He is the most beautiful to us. Yet, like the sunrise, we don’t prioritize for the relationship. We aren’t willing to sacrifice for it. Perhaps the idea of God being the most important to us is something that we would always stand by, but the truth of the matter is we are not captivated by him. We want to be, we talk about loving him the most, but we don’t truly. Again, the idea of something is not at all the same as the reality of it.
Being honest about what we find most beautiful in our lives can be challenging, but it is also breakthrough! When we step out of our denial and the eyes of our heart are truly enlightened, change can finally occur. The truth of the matter might be news to you, but God has known the position of your heart all along. Recently, the Lord has been shaking me. He has shown me what captivates my heart more than him. Not all, but most things are actually good things! But the lie my heart is deceived by is that they are more beautiful than he is. And so I worship the created, rather than the Creator…
“For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man…they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator…”
(Romans 1:21-23,25)
To explain what I mean by worship, let me first explain what I do not mean. I do not mean merely bowing down to an image of a god, I do not mean reciting long prayers and I do not mean attending church. Although these are forms of worship, they are only surface level when it comes to the true worship of our hearts. Here are some examples of what I do mean by those who I believe say it much better than I ever could:
“Human beings by their very nature are worshipers. Worship is not something we do; it defines who we are. You cannot divide human beings into those who worship and those who don’t. Everybody worships; it’s just a matter of what, or whom, we serve” (Paul David Tripp).
“Our jobs, relationships, reputations, and treasures – these are just a few things that compete for our worship. We were made for one worship and one satisfaction, but our taste buds are so skewed until our appetites are formed in and for Him. The question isn’t whether we will use our everyday moments to worship because we will – in the midst of ordinary places, people, sights, sounds, joys and pains. How we direct our eyes, minds, hearts, and hands in the everyday will determine whom we ultimately worship and what we ultimately become. We were made to behold him and be transformed in him” (Ruth Chou Simons-Beholding and Becoming: The Art of Everyday Worship).
For a while, I had moments of honesty, but I quickly gave in to denial again -as most of us do. I believed that God was the most important thing in my life and that I worshiped him rightly. Now that I have stepped out of denial, I have realized there is so much more to our worship than I could ever comprehend before. Since my realization, would I say he is currently the most beautiful to me? Truthfully, the answer is no…not yet…but I want him to be. I think this is why Jesus admired the faith of the man who said, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). That, too, is my prayer.
So if you are anything like me and the truth of reality is hard to swallow, then perhaps take some time to really chew on it. Think about what things in your life are most beautiful to you. Ask God to enlighten your heart to his beauty. Ask him to captivate you. He will!
Philippians 2:13 says, “For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”
In context, Paul is talking about our salvation here. He says, “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:12-13).
Now this does not mean that we have to do more “good works” for salvation. He is saying, work it out in your heart! What is the most beautiful to you? Working this out in our hearts takes intentionality. It takes effort to step out of denial and to accept the true places of our heart. This is not something that happens passively like some kind of epiphany. As believers, it is something we are called to do the work of.
One thing I find so beautiful about God is that He doesn’t leave us alone as we untangle this mess in our hearts. This passage of scripture says “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” This means that sometimes we really just don’t want to put in the effort. We are tired and we want our sleep! But God loves us so much that He will even cause us to “will it” – to want it, desire it, or seek it out. Not only does He help us work it out, but he is actually the one who stirs up our hearts to “want to” in the first place. What a good and beautiful God!
Another scripture I love says it this way:
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).
Now, unlike popular opinion, this verse does not mean that He just gives us whatever we want or desire if we only ask! This means that he literally births the desires of our heart as we take delight in who he is. He puts his desires within us, and they then become our own desires. How beautiful. You may not have the desire to sort through what you truly find most beautiful, but He can give you that desire as you ask for it and as you delight yourself in him.
Perhaps, maybe, you do already have the desire, but it is the “work” of it you are confused and unsure in. Let me encourage you then to just do this one thing … join me in waking up when he calls. Join me in getting out of bed. Go watch the sunrise. Spend time in his presence. Put margin in your schedule for him to speak to your heart. Let him captivate you. He is the only one who can change our hearts, so give your heart to him and ask him to be the most beautiful to you!
“Awake my soul to sing. With your breath in me. I will worship you.”
P.S. Since originally writing this, I had another morning that I canceled my plans to watch the sunrise. I chose to sleep instead. The concepts that I discuss in this post are an ongoing journey, not a one-time lesson. Embrace the process. Give yourself grace when you fail. Get up and try again!