Closer Means to Invest Time

Relationships aren’t easy. They need time, effort and sacrifice whether it’s a relationship with people, pets or God. They’re always worth it, but you have to put in in order to take away. I think we often forget that. I was talking with a friend the other day; they were sharing how they feel lonely and wish they had more people in their life they were close with. This friend then began to talk about how introverted they are and how much they enjoy recharging by themselves and being a hermit. I laughed because I totally relate – In fact I think most of society relates to that mentality! Netflix is the new party and staying in is the new going out. It’s funny how much effort it takes to plan a night out with friends or even a simple coffee date to catch up with someone! We have to check our schedules, see if we’ll be in the mental space to actually want to go out that day next week and plan accordingly. I’m totally one of those people that could say no to every opportunity to go out – My hermit skills are almost resume worthy. However, once I’m out with people; I’m always glad I went out, or had them over! Continue reading

We are all Josephs

We all know the story of Joseph and his famous coat of many colours. It’s a classic in any Children’s Story Bible. If you don’t know the story of Joseph, it’s found in the first Old Testament book of Bible: Genesis, chapter 35 (birth) to chapter 50 (death). To give you a Spark Notes version: (spoiler alert) At a young age, Joseph is treated unfairly by his brothers and wrongly sold into slavery. As Joseph works as a slave in Egypt, he excels due to his trust in God. We are told in Genesis 39: 2, “The Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man.” As Joseph moves up the status ladder, once again he is wrongly accused (verses 19-21), “Now when his [Joseph’s] master heard the words of his wife… ‘This is what your slave did to me,’ his anger burned. So Joseph’s master took him and put him in jail…” Joseph stayed in prison for 2 years for something he didn’t do.

Genesis 39: 2, “The Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man.

Continue reading

Actions beat Words.

I have always been a person that pays more attention to someone’s actions more than their words. A couple weeks ago, I got to attend the Christian Youth Workers Conference (CYWC) in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan with a couple other youth volunteer workers along with our church Youth Pastor. It was an eye opening weekend to say the least. Continue reading

Calming fears and clearing minds…

Ok so to bring you up to date: I moved back to Regina, Saskatchewan. I completed my Interior Design Practicum at Ambiente Interiors. I was not hired. I am currently jobless. You would think that I’d be more stressed about that last fact…. but I’m not… sooooo…? These past few months have been an absolute whirlwind! However, God speaks to us in the whisper of the wind and that has been SO incredible as I watch as God’s Hand molds my life day by day, everyday whispering, “Just watch and see what I am about to do…” I moved back to Regina at the end of April and began my internship shortly after coming home – it felt great to be working in the field that I love. Remember last summer, when I was working at the design store? I was usually on the sales floor helping clients with high end light fixtures and furniture, luxury plumbing fixtures like claw-foot bath tubs, solid marble sinks, and gold faucets, etc. My job last summer was really fun and I learned SO much. Working in the design store gave me knowledge about lighting, plumbing and furniture that I would never have gained at school. Ambiente Interiors was a completely different experience. I love, love, loved working at a design firm! Ambiente was right up my alley; a small, high end design firm that does both residential and commercial design across Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba. I worked with two other, wonderful designers and several tradesmen that were experts in their fields.

IMG_0836 Continue reading

I don’t know if it’s right – but it doesn’t feel wrong…

VW Bus BackSitting alone with God is such a wonderful thing. Actually taking those cliche moments to listen to the winds blowing through trees, to watch the colours in the sky change as the sun set or like last night; I was about to crash and noticed a bright green flicker from my bedroom window. I love the northern lights. It was actually on my bucket list to see them at one point. I may live in a classic, cute little down – but the view or the northern lights makes it unreal. I remember the most extraordinary time I saw the northern lights here; it was almost exactly a year ago – my friend and I decided we’d drive out of town into a random farmers field and sit in her car drinking coffee and watch this fantastic natural light show. It was one of the most surreal moments I’ve ever had in my life. Breathtaking. They were so bright; literally casting shadows beneath us when we stood outside the car. Everywhere we looked was glowing green. The lights were directly above us in that field – I could see the beams overhead; shooting straight up and I could see each time they flickered and moved. They were so close I felt as if they were swirling around us at one point. I just remember not having words to say; pure amazement. I don’t know if it’s wrong to think this, but in those moments I believe God is displaying His beauty and creativity for me alone. I believe that while I was watching the northern lights from my window last night – God telling me that He loves me. He took the moment I couldn’t sleep to show me His simple greatness and beauty. I like those small gestures like a written note or a thinking of you text, or whatever – those little things that say hey “I enjoy you”. When I’m driving and God gives me a crazy awesome pink sunset, I like to think He made it specially for me. When I’m anxious and He lights up the sky with phenomenal moving lights, I like to think He’s giving me a moment to refocus on Him instead of what’s stressing me out. I hope you have moments like that too.

VW Bus SideIt’s so encouraging when you realize that God’s you Father and He wants to brighten your day simply because He can! My Dad has always done those little things to show our family he loves us whether it’s washing my car or watching cartoons with us, buying cellphone car gadgets and extra chargers cause he knows we lose them and break them. The next time you see something and it makes you look twice,  stop and enjoy it and believe that God did that specifically for you and you alone to enjoy in that moment. Maybe listening to birds sing together on a walk or that short cool breeze at the end of your run or that cloud to block the sun while you drive with the sunroof open. He cares about you because you are His and He wants to show you through the little things that He cares for you – not always just the big things that we continually pray for. I’ve been thinking a lot about graduating school and moving back to Saskatchewan; not gunna lie it’s a huge bitter sweet deal. There are several things that I am excited about and equally as many things that I am dreading. However, moments where God gives me peace in the simple things; I know that I purely need to trust in Him and know that if He cares enough about me to give me a sunset or northern lights; He most definitely cares even more about the bigger things going on. Whatever you’ve got on your mind right now, know that it’s ok to relax and allow your Father to take care of it. Rest in Him and take it one step at a time taking joy in the little things that He sends your way.

 

 

– Stay Satisfied

Jumping into darkness…

Red Rock StandI have no idea where I will be in my life in six months. I can’t decide whether or not I should love this feeling or dread it. I am a person that has always had a rough idea; a plan A and a backup plan B. For years I have always had a hunch on what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go and how I wanted to go about doing something. I knew that when I finished high school I would go to Bible school on an island in BC. I knew that when I finished Bible school, my boss had a job for me to jump back into and I would work for a year. I knew after my gap year I would move away and go to school where I would study Interior Design. I know that when I finish school I am to go on a missions trip with my church to Brazil that God told me I would go on four years ago. As of now, I have less than two months left of school and there are 152 days until I fly to Brazil to share the gospel with the people there. So in roughly 175 days I’m clueless. Mmmmk I know I’m being dramatic about this – but still. After a student graduates, they are supposed to be grown up and ready to join the rest of the world and be responsible. That scares me.

I know I’m not the only one that feels this way in life. I know there are millions of people that have been in this situation too at some point in their life. Actually, at church the other day a friend of mine was speaking. She was a full time missionary to Africa; after living there for 39 years, the Lord called her to retire because He has new work for her here in Canada. Anyways, she was sharing about her experience in Africa and leaving for good, “You know those trapeze people in a circus? They are super high up on a small platform, they jump out into the darkness where they know a bar will swing just in time for them to grab onto and take them to the next platform. I feel like one of those people right now.  I feel like I have just jumped off my platform where I knew it was safe and what I was doing. Now I am flying in midair hoping for that bar to come my way. I have no idea what the bar looks like and I have no idea where it will take me. But I know it’s coming – and like the trapeze artist; I have to be ready and watching for it.” She took the words and feeling out of my body – that’s exactly how I feel right now. I feel like I’m bracing myself to jump into the darkness.

Red RockI’ve obviously been thinking about this for a little while now. I know this because God gave me a “Stop panicking letter” Seriously. He did. It was in my mailbox at church. A small note that read, “Psalm 32:8, ‘I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.'” Two minutes before I read His note, I was literally venting to a friend at church about my “problem”. I also had to laugh because I felt this note was God’s way of telling me to shut up. My devotional book the other day said something similar, “KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME! As your circumstances consume more and more of your attention, you are losing sight of Me. Yet I am with you always, holding you by your right hand. I am fully aware of your situation. Your gravest danger is worrying about tomorrow. If you try to carry tomorrow’s burdens today, you will stagger under the load and eventually fall flat! You must discipline yourself to live within the boundaries of today. It is in the present moment that I walk close to you; helping you carry your burdens.Keep your focus on My Presence in the present. Let the future unfold and worry about itself.”

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.”    – Psalm 73:23

Guys, I have not figured out what will happen in a couple months… but I’m getting the feeling that God is wanting me to simply lean back and ride the river. I want to encourage you to do the same. School is coming to an end and maybe you’re in the same place as I am. Or things at work could be completely changing, or maybe you have to move and you have no idea who you will even be able to call “friends”. God says that He knows each and every one of our situations and He cares. He knows how they will pan out. Don’t stress. I’m going to try my best to let go and see what happens. Quite often, God has something much better planned than anything we could work up.

Red Rock Edge

 

– Stay Satisfied

Nothin to do but wait…

Silence is such a good thing – it allows you to filter out the voices and sounds that aren’t important. Do you ever do that? Go away where it’s quiet and simply enjoy the stillness? It’s been a little over two months since I last posted {sorry} but the stillness has been good for me. It allowed me to sit back and think about what is relevant in my life and what is not. It’s something that I like to do when everyone is stressing out about their New Year’s Eve plans. I guess there are just so many things that I put so much time, effort, worry and energy into that was never really worth it. Or things that I should have focused more on but missed the boat, you know? I am now in my last semester of Interior Design. I have come so far and I started to wonder what I was going to do next? I can’t believe I’ve made it this far! It’s so exciting and incredible to think how fast two years can go by!

Do you ever look back at your year and think about all the things that happened that you planned vs. the things that happened that you didn’t know would happen? It’s really cool when you do! If you were to flip back on your facebook timeline or through your old Instagram posts, you’ll remember several things that happened last year. Maybe it was a spontaneous road trip, or a random party you went to. It could be starting school or a new job, meeting new friends or moving to new places. I’m sure you’re getting the idea. When I look back at my year I’m reminded of both fun memories and sad memories – none of which I’d change. But looking at them, and seeing how God connected one event to the other and had life continue on to the next, I realized that God’s plan is so wonderfully random. That sounds cliche, but you can’t avoid the obvious truth. Right now, the knowledge that God is quietly laying the next plank in the bridge ahead of me is incredibly calming. Today I was forced to remember that my plans and my timing are not the best. It felt like a gut punch.

IMG_5563In my course I have two years of studies and then a two month practicum. The studies are all at my school in Alberta but the practicum is completely up to us students and where we would potentially like to work as designers. I have had one place in mind ever since November. I wasn’t looking for it; it was as if God had plopped it on my lap and said “Go for it”. As I learned more about the business and research their company and what they do I was blown away by all of the connections there were. My dream in interior design would be to help families design and build their dream home that functions perfectly for them. I would love to build sustainable homes that will be a long lasting investment for each client. In the end the house would reflect their personality beautifully and that it would become a showstopper in their neighborhood – something that they could and would be proud of! I tried contacting this company recently and was having bad luck with trying to get a hold of the owner. A week later I tried calling again, and I was shut down. I was shocked. “God, I thought you were opening this door for me… what just happened?” He was silent.

“She will have no fear of bad news; her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” – Psalm 112:7

The week before, I had been talking to a friend about this dream job and how I was excited about this placement for my practicum even though I hadn’t actually scored the position yet. “So, why have you been putting off calling them if you’re so excited?” he asked me. “Because I’m scared.” I was scared about the possibility of being rejected. Ironically enough. It was sounding like such a wonderful place to work I was afraid of the thought that they might not accept me. After talking about it he finally said to me, “You need to stop being afraid and wanting full control of the situation. Go out on a limb! Listen, I have three questions for you: one, do you believe that God loves you? Do you believe that He has His best intentions for you? And do you think, that somehow, just maybe, God knows more than you do? If you said yes to all three of those, then you need to trust that God is gunna go ahead of you and work things out. You might get the job-  awesome. But you might not get the job. What then? You continue to trust Him. So tomorrow, you call them fully trusting that God is in complete control and be open to the chance that there might be a placement better for you than what you’ve found for yourself.” Boom. He knife of truthed me. So what did I do the next day? I shot a quick prayer to God asking that He would be in control of the situation. I called. Got rejected. Hung up. Dang it.

IMG_5752Sometimes what we plan for ourselves, is not awesome. We may think it’s awesome – but it’s actually not. At this point, I literally have no idea where I will go to complete my practicum. I’ve got nothing. You may not know what you’re doing either. It’s ok. I’m in the same boat. Maybe your situation is bigger than mine. You just got dumped by your girlfriend or boyfriend and you thought for sure you were going to get married. Your job just cut you loose due to the crashing economy. Maybe your situation is smaller than mine. You were hoping to buy this new guitar and found out they just sold the last one. I don’t know, maybe you wanted ice cream at McDonald’s and when you went to go get some, their ice cream machine was broken. Jokes on you for that one, cause it’s always broken. Anyways, what I’m trying to say, is that we all have let downs. That’s how life goes. I saw a quote the other day that said, “At 23: JK Rowling was broke, Tine Fey was working at the YMCA, Oprah had just been fired as a TV reporter, and Walt Disney had declared bankruptcy. It’s going to be ok.” All those hot shots were ordinary, infamous people too and they pulled through.

I want to encourage you to keep moving forward. I didn’t fail at this attempt for a practicum; I simply found one place that I won’t work. When I was shut down, I was upset. I was discouraged wondering what I would do next. I still don’t know what to do next but I do know that God must have somewhere in store for me that is going to be incredible and more awesome than I thought it would be. My friend text me that same day saying, “Hey Payton! I was reading, and Nehemiah 8:10 just made me think of you. You can see that the joy of the Lord is your strength – that is an awesome gift to have…” Once again, I sat there shocked. God spoke through my friend at the perfect time to encourage me. “Payton, you need to continue trusting me and relying on my strength. You will have joy when you let go of the things you are continually trying to do for yourself. It’s ok to walk through life without knowing your every move. Keep going.” So I want to pass it on to you. Right now, think about that thing in the back of your mind that you are trying to hold on to and control. Breath in and think about it. Do you know what? Let it go and allow God to take control of it. Breath out. Keep going. Keep breathing. He’s got this.

 

 

 

 

– Stay Satisfied